The current phrase that blurts out of my mouth as of late is: Two is really hard! When the words roll off my tongue and through my lips, accompanied by the extreme look of cluelessness written all over my face, I am incredibly overjoyed!
What I am really saying is: Two is wonderful! A major blessing that makes my heart well with so much warmth. I am so in love with two little incredible people. Then to have a boy and a girl - the best of both worlds! God is so good - thank you!
I try and reflect back to the beginning of my journey as a mother - the hardest job I never imagined I could love so much!
In the beginning I was tired - all of the time! In fact I was tired for three years. How was it that during my college years I could stay up all night long? Then I remembered...I could sleep when I wanted. There wasn't anyone screaming at me to get up! Next I beat myself up - only a little - pleading with myself. How could you deprive yourself of sleep way back when? Don't you know that you should have banked it when you had the chance so you could dig deep into the reserves for the moments where your future children would not be so thoughtful?
After those three years the memories of massive major huge sleep deprivation begin to slowly fade. You get a little cocky - I got this thing totally figured out. What is another one? I know that everything is temporary. So we add another human to the family. I wasn't so cocky that I entirely forgot. I wasn't in a major hurry to give birth. Pregnancy is actually the easy part. She will get here when she gets here. Well, she came early. Not by her choice, however. I really think she would have stayed in there beyond her due date. But, my fine doc said lets get her out. And, so he did. He did try to get her out even earlier. I looked at him and said, "Uh no you can't. I am not ready!" I think he laughed at me.
Seriously, who has time to prepare for #2 when you have a #1? Then there was the fact our basement was being finished and wasn't ready. I had had people working on my house for months. Then there was Brendon's fifth birthday extravaganza. Then there was the 4th Annual Brendon's Smile...Raising Awareness for Childhood Stroke walk/rally. Then there was the golf tournament to benefit Brendon's Smile. Then I had three weeks to get EVERYTHING done. Uh, WRONG! I did get out to get a few things - mainly bows. In my frantic state I told Stephen, "This baby can't be born without bows. She has NO bows!" Really how can you welcome a baby girl into the world without bows, oh and pink hats, too? That was a change prior to me crying my eyes out while up in the attic -what is a eight and a half month pregnant woman doing up in the attic? don't ask! - a week earlier as I was going through all of Brendon's baby clothes. I had to say goodbye to Brendon's babyhood. I even tried to justify putting some of the boy clothes on my baby girl when she was born. What is she going to know? She is just a baby! Stephen laughed at me! He sent me out to get bows. Greetings Baby Girl! Absolutely NO boy clothes will be on my girl!
This second little baby had me fooled for about three months. Sleep deprivation occurred. It was to be expected but not at the same magnitude of the first go around. Then BAAM! She decided sleeping all of the time was no longer necessary!
In my delirium they plotted. I don't know how a new baby and a five-year-old could do it but they did! They plotted and tag-teamed me! One would have me up. Then once that one would fall asleep and I was on the brink of peaceful tasty restful sleep then the other would wake me up with toe curling screaming! I was under attack! Tag your it; now go get mommy!
I just have to say anyone with more than two is my hero! I tell women with more than two ALL of the time!
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